Empowered Curiosity Podcast

Untangle People-Pleasing Patterns with Empowerment Coach Courtney Koester

June 30, 2021 Kat Lee Episode 49
Empowered Curiosity Podcast
Untangle People-Pleasing Patterns with Empowerment Coach Courtney Koester
Show Notes

If you are on a journey to untangle from people-pleasing or perfectionist tendencies, you’re going to want to tune into this conversation with Courney Koester. 

This might be stating the obvious to define what “people pleasing” is but I think it’s important to dive into nuanced topics with the same vocabulary. 

I define “people-pleasing” as a pattern of putting the needs of others before your own

When this happens, who you are and what you want is replaced by the needs and happiness of others. This comes at the cost of your own thoughts, desires, emotions, likes/dislikes, preferences, goals, dreams and beliefs. 

We embody this pattern when we: 

  • Take on responsibility for the feelings of other people by trying to fix their emotions, make them more comfortable or taking on blame 
  • Crave external validation as a determinant of your self-worth
  • Don’t communicate when your feelings are hurt or boundaries have been crossed
  • Struggle with setting boundaries leading you to be overcommitted and resentful for what you agreed to do
  • Allow a lack of reciprocity in relationships which leaves us feeling burnt out on people

This comes from a variety of reasons, many of which come from our communities/families of origin. Courtney and I do a deep dive into where people-pleasing patterns come from and how they have served us and what we can do to integrate them so we are no longer ruled by them.

Untangling people-pleasing patterns is so important because when you override your needs and desires, you silence your voice. When you silence your voice, your Dao has no possible way to manifest. 

In our community, we celebrate and normalize sharing truth, purpose and authenticity.

Listen to this episode if..

You are on a journey to untangle your people-pleasing or perfectionist tendencies 

What You'll Learn in this Episode: 

  • The one question that is impossible for humans with people-pleasing tendencies to answer
  • The medicine of story 
  • Why we are drawn to do healing work in groups 
  • Why “Me Too” was such a potent movement 


Your Speakers:

Kat Lee  is an Intimacy + Relationship Coach, host of The Empowered Curiosity Podcast and Creator of The Heart Lab. She guides pattern-breakers to alchemize their emotions and embody their healing journey to cultivate intimacy as a spiritual practice. 

Courtney Koester is an empowerment coach + wild-hearted adventurer. With firsthand experience in untangling from patterns of people pleasing + self-abandonment, her work focuses on the importance of self-reconnection + rehumanization -- inviting you to explore, untangle, be seen + ultimately come alive in your most aligned self-expression.

This podcast is made possible with sound production by Andre Lagace.
Original music by
Mayan Kites