One of my favorite aspects of Human Design is how it feels like a giant permission slip to just BE YOU! This ultimately creates you unique blueprint to create a more fulfilling, values-driven life. This week, we chat with the incredible Kaila O'Connor, a PR Trailblazer and Human Design Reader who shares her journey how incorporating Human Design (HD) into entrepreneurship and her team has transformed her business.
To explore the shiny, sparkly vision of your best life, we have to explore the shadow side of what it feels like to live out of alignment. We share our own experiences of what it feels like to decondition the narratives that no longer serve us in order to learn self-trust.
Ready to dive deeper into Human Design and transform your business? Embrace your unique energy and take radical responsibility for yourself as you tap into the power of Human Design to create a thriving and successful business that's a true reflection of you.
Resources:
Pull up your free Human Design chart HERE.
Kaila O'Connor is the founder of KMO Consulting, an Affiliate PR agency that operates with a focus on human design. As a 6/2 splenic projector, Kaila's natural instinct is to make impulsive decisions that often surprise others. Her use of human design as an energetic business consultant helps CEOs and c-suite executives understand the importance of energy and frequency in business strategies, resulting in happier and more productive employees.
Connect with Kaila:
Kat HoSoo Lee is a trauma-informed Spiritual Business Mentor and host of The Rooted Business Podcast. She uses the tools of somatic and emotional alchemy to guide soulful entrepreneurs to approach their business as a spiritual practice. This allows them to cultivate businesses that are rooted in conscious values, ethical marketing and purposeful service.
Connect with Kat:
This podcast is made possible with sound production by Andre Lagace.
One of my favorite aspects of Human Design is how it feels like a giant permission slip to just BE YOU! This ultimately creates you unique blueprint to create a more fulfilling, values-driven life. This week, we chat with the incredible Kaila O'Connor, a PR Trailblazer and Human Design Reader who shares her journey how incorporating Human Design (HD) into entrepreneurship and her team has transformed her business.
To explore the shiny, sparkly vision of your best life, we have to explore the shadow side of what it feels like to live out of alignment. We share our own experiences of what it feels like to decondition the narratives that no longer serve us in order to learn self-trust.
Ready to dive deeper into Human Design and transform your business? Embrace your unique energy and take radical responsibility for yourself as you tap into the power of Human Design to create a thriving and successful business that's a true reflection of you.
Resources:
Pull up your free Human Design chart HERE.
Kaila O'Connor is the founder of KMO Consulting, an Affiliate PR agency that operates with a focus on human design. As a 6/2 splenic projector, Kaila's natural instinct is to make impulsive decisions that often surprise others. Her use of human design as an energetic business consultant helps CEOs and c-suite executives understand the importance of energy and frequency in business strategies, resulting in happier and more productive employees.
Connect with Kaila:
Kat HoSoo Lee is a trauma-informed Spiritual Business Mentor and host of The Rooted Business Podcast. She uses the tools of somatic and emotional alchemy to guide soulful entrepreneurs to approach their business as a spiritual practice. This allows them to cultivate businesses that are rooted in conscious values, ethical marketing and purposeful service.
Connect with Kat:
This podcast is made possible with sound production by Andre Lagace.
Welcome to the podcast, kayla. I am so excited to have you on. We had just like an intro call. I don't know it's been several weeks now at this point and I've been just so excited.
Kaila O'Connor:It feels like six months.
Kat Lee:Yeah, we were just saying that right. I just feel so excited for this conversation because I feel like ever since that connection call I, like my own wheels, have been turning in terms of like ooh, how do we, how do we interact? How do we integrate this information? So, just for a little bit of context, kayla is incorporating human design into entrepreneurship and also onto teams. I've actually, since you and I have chatted, i've started taking a human design course.
Kaila O'Connor:Oh, my gosh.
Kat Lee:Yeah, i'm really excited about the whole system generally, but in particular how we can sort of harness these permission slips within human design to help like folks find their way through business. So thank you so much for agreeing to have this conversation with me. Oh my gosh.
Kaila O'Connor:I'm so excited. That's very MG view, Is it? I'd like to have a call with me and be like I'm going to take a course. Yes, I love that about you I mean note to anyone listening as an MG, If you like are introduced to a new topic and you feel like a little itch to like just taking your course and learning your topic, even if it's like rare hard left Go down that route. I was like, yes, MG, She took a course. Yeah, I'm very excited.
Kat Lee:Yeah, so I think that we can just jump straight into like what we were just chatting about before we hit record. If you want to just give us a bit of context around what's mushing around in your brain, and then we can just roll from that. I think it'd be a good place to just play.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah, absolutely Well. First off, I think something that was that just dropped in that I didn't mention before is, i think, with human design. And when I first, first off, when I started my business as an affiliate PR agency, i used human design to help me feel good in PR because I did not feel good before. So I just naturally used human design as kind of my what it's, what it's supposed to be used as, use it as my blueprint, as my guidebook to operate in a way that is unique to me, to where I feel good in the way that I do affiliate PR uniquely to me, and the skills and the strategies in, like, the affiliate PR space, the masculine way is is kind of, you know, across like the industry standards. They are the masculine way, but how I do it energetically is unique to me and I made the promise that I was going to do it uniquely to me And I was going to do it in a way that I could, so that things were going to just feel easy and flowy, because prior to that they didn't add chronic panic attacks, extreme anxiety, you know, became a reiki master just so I could heal my chakras and my adrenal.
Kaila O'Connor:It felt, you know, very ill, and so I was naturally already integrating human design into my business and my own agency was kind of like my first client, my first case study, and I didn't realize it, but you kind of just get in your own head And I became a certified reader February of 2022. And it didn't even dawn on me to go into businesses. I was absorbing the coaching world And I thought I had to be a coach in order to serve And it.
Kaila O'Connor:I just kind of laugh because when I became a reiki master, i thought I literally had to physically put hands on bodies to be a healer. And I think another message that's coming through is, if we're just conscious humans, conscious entrepreneurs, serving our customers, we are of service, we are healers. Without needing to quote unquote, be a healer. And so if you're integrating this as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, into your business, you are of service. You are a healer because you are showing up as the highest version of yourself and being there for your team, being there for your customers in the highest version of yourself. And so I think that's a really powerful thing and a powerful gift to give to your team, to your customer, to the collective. So that that just came through really strongly.
Kaila O'Connor:But you know, if you're going to be curious about this, it is a you have to take radical responsibility for yourself first and foremost And that's one thing that is is a really important message to make is, if you're curious of integrating this with your team, to start with yourself first, because we want to make sure that your role in what you're doing and how you're using your energy and how you're operating in your day to day tasks and what your role in your business is is in the most aligned possible scenario, for some foremost, and then we can start bringing in the team and making sure that the support you have supports you, because the CEO is a direct tether to your business, you know. So that's that's where we started.
Kat Lee:Yeah. So just for context, what is your human design? just sort of like the main touch points there.
Kaila O'Connor:I'm a six to splenic projector, yep. So with 51 is the gate of shock? is my son gate, which your son gate is like, your son sign and astrology? Have you gotten there yet in your course?
Kat Lee:not yet so I am a five to manifesting generator.
Kaila O'Connor:And then the sacral authority. Yep, so you're with your decision making. it's very in the moment And it's very yes or no, this or that binary. So, for everyone's son gate, if you either look at the body graph and you see it the two columns, the two columns. yep, it's this unconscious and the conscious, it's going to be on the conscious, the personality side, which is the top number Right, yep, the right hand side, thank you.
Kaila O'Connor:The top number here, like simplifying it down for me, Thank you. So it's going to be the first number before the decimal. That's going to be your son gate, yeah, and then, if you look at the incarnation cross, that first number is also going to be the same number as the first number on the right side. Yeah, so yours is 45, which is all about getting everyone on the same page, which very much aligns with the five to self motivated hero.
Kat Lee:Yeah, yeah. So I'm curious about if we can revisit that space that you were in, where you were perhaps living your life out of alignment where you were saying you're feeling anxious. What is it about that part of your life where you were not able to give yourself the permission slips that you needed as a splenic projector?
Kaila O'Connor:I didn't know. I was Yeah, so let's, let's you know, back up to September of 2019. I was just just bear three months into moving to Los Angeles. I moved from Minnesota. I was, you know, kind of escaping a life that was rough and on and off hard relationship. I thought that, you know, moving across the country would kind of help, so to say. I thought I would. I thought I got my dream job at this large PR firm, you know, a senior position. All of my, you know, pr, chronic anxiety symptoms would go away. I had done EMDR, intense EMDR. You know this is a fresh start, kayla. We're in LA, we're going to start fresh.
Kaila O'Connor:And three months into it it was not at all what I was. It was a total tower moment. I was going through my Saturn return And here I am, senior position. I was promised everything And I felt so incredibly unworthy and unseen. Now, nothing to that job. I think it was just like I was really being shown like you're going in the wrong direction, kayla. Right, and I was driving to a conference and that's when I was listening to a Jenna Zoe or a Lacey Phillips to be magnetic podcast interview with Jenna Zoe, and that's when I found human design And I looked up my chart and realized I was a spleenic projector And I had. I had this like oh shit. Moment. Now I was getting to a place of kind of desperation where I had drained my 401k to have some money in the bank because I had just moved. So I had nothing zero, so I was like I need something.
Kaila O'Connor:So I completely drained my 401k. That's definitely a spleenic, impulsive decision, right, like who just makes that decision? And after I found out I was a projector, i had this like feeling of like, okay, i'm done. So I walked into my job the next day and I quit at 8am. I was like this is my last day, i'm done. I knew that that job was not right for me. I did not know what was next. I was like I am fully like surrendering. Here you go, here I am.
Kaila O'Connor:And within 24 hours I had this random text from an acquaintance that was asking me if I knew anyone who did freelance PR. And within 24 hours I had my first freelance client that paid all my bills And that was the first kind of evidence from the universe of being rewarded for standing in like your energetic worth, and it was a very strong, lasting trust muscle that has kind of stuck with me. But it's been a trial and error, you know process and definitely a learning experience. But I would say the not self theme is what keeps me going. The not self theme is every energy type has a signature theme and a not self theme. The not self theme is often how we feel when we are making a decision or living a life out of alignment. For generators and manifesting generators, like yourself, it's frustration. For projectors it's bitterness, reflectors, it's disappointment, manifestors, it's anger, and the signature theme is how we will feel when we are living in alignment. So, manifestors, it's peace, yes, peace, yes. Generators manifesting generators, it's satisfaction, projectors, it's success And reflectors, it's surprise and delight.
Kaila O'Connor:I love reflectors. it's like the surprise and delight Yeah, so those two because the not self theme. when we feel good, we don't pay attention to good feelings and that's when we have awareness and we're like present, to like external things and we're enjoying life. But when we don't feel good, we're like we fixate.
Kat Lee:Yeah, and like not feeling good.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah, so the not self theme is powerful.
Kat Lee:Yeah, absolutely So, like honor that, yeah, and as you're speaking, like it reminds me of the work that I do helping people find what we call the Dao. So, like the Dao is kind of like a rough translation of it is your path, what your way is meant to be, what you are here as a soul to figure out and puzzle out in this life that we have Cool, and I always contrast it. I actually lead all of my one-on-one clients on a meditation to help them figure out their one word, that is, their Dao, and I always contrast it to their not Dao. And so, like sort of circling back to what you were saying earlier of like your responsibility as a CEO is like to do the work yourself and to integrate within yourself before you start expanding and rippling out your team or expanding and rippling out into your community. And so, like my Dao is surrender and my not Dao is control.
Kat Lee:And so meaning, when my life is not going in a way that feels aligned to me, i start trying to control all of the pieces, people experiences, things, all things right, and the word surrender has such a deep meaningful like. I have a relationship with that word because it's like my life plan, my business plan, is to surrender, which is kind of a fucked up thing when, like, we're all connected to and intricately tied into capitalism. That says that you need to be productive, that you need to be accomplishing things and needing to be successful in all these ways. And yet, over the last couple of years, i've learned that, the more and more I can lean into surrender, that actually helps me create this life that feels not just more aligned but like, also I'm able to achieve some of those external markers of success in a way that feels more ethical and values driven to me. And so I think it's interesting how, like, all these systems are all talking about essentially the same thing, like as you're talking about the self themes.
Kat Lee:I love reflectors as well. One of my close friends is a reflector and her Dao is beauty, and it's like, yeah, like that totally makes sense, that, like, the thing that reflectors feel so like excited about, that feels alive in their bodies when they're in their self theme is that sense of like ah, and like surprise, right, like what is more surprising than walking across in nature and finding a really beautiful flower or, you know, having the landscape open up into this really beautiful scene, and like that's kind of the same energy that, like my friend, her name's Natalie.
Kat Lee:She's been on the podcast before Natalie Ross, like she's in search of that in her life, you know and as she's more connected to that sense of beauty, like that is her, like that's her Dao, that's her self theme, you know. And so I think it's just so interesting how, like the same paths at the same mountain or different paths at the same mountain, right.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah, it's interesting, your, your arrows at the top are all facing left, which is very fixed energy, so I love that you have the word surrender because you do have a lot of active energy in you. You know, and they're all very active energy. You know, and they're all very active energy, and there is, you can be in surrender and in structure at the same time. You know, does that resonate with you Like structured surrender, like scheduling surrender time?
Kaila O'Connor:you know like that is your way of surrendering, like having your scheduled surrender, like okay, this is my time to surrender.
Kat Lee:Yeah, i mean I literally just came off of, like we were just saying, i came off of two weeks in Nevada where I went to go visit my friend who's also my horse trainer, and, like I wrote about this in one of my newsletters, like I've been hanging on to like a lot of grief, like my grandmother's not doing very well And so like I've been sort of like not like white knuckling it by any means, but like this isn't the right time to like allow this, this feeling, to like have full emotional expression.
Kat Lee:And so, while I was in the desert, i just took a drive through the desert one night and like screamed, like I sat in my car and I screamed, and then I got out of my car and just like walked through the sand and screamed some more and cried some more, where, like you know, they live in a really, really remote part of Nevada, and so I was all by myself, just surrounded by these beautiful cactuses and full moon And that's exactly what that was.
Kaila O'Connor:It's like I knew, like I think there was some full moon was a big one too, yeah.
Kat Lee:And I think that there's some part of my body that knew like, Hey, I'm going to be safe to surrender in this place And so like, totally, let's hang on. It's you know, it's going to be okay. You know, it's not like I was in a state where, like I felt like I like really needed to access the grief. it was just sort of like in there and needed to be expressed and sort of like needed the right environment in the space to do that. So yeah, absolutely scheduled surrender is my jam.
Kaila O'Connor:Totally, and that's like such a perfect example of like, like no one would ever think of. Like you, google how to surrender blogs no one's going to have scheduled surrender as a how to you know, but that is such an individually aligned way for you to do it And it feels the best and the safest for you. And so that is where, like, there's so like millions and millions of different ways to do one thing for each individual. Yeah, it's just getting super creative. Like creativity is like my, my.
Kaila O'Connor:I'm realizing that creative solutions is like my thing. And like empowering people to just the opposite of victim. The opposite of victim is creativity. And everything in my chart, the more I even lean into, like Jean Keys, is like transmuting emotions and trauma through the, the art form of creativity. And, instead of feeling uncomfortable emotions and doing the one of two things that we often do as humans, which is running away or numbing, or trying to fix it right, allowing creativity, the form of creativity, to just kind of, you know, transmute that in our just be open to creative solutions, create, you know, just something new to form.
Kat Lee:And what I love about that is is like when we're doing our work as practitioners, like we're asking our clients to look within themselves to find that creativity, you're not sitting here prescribing something for them to do. You're like, hey, like I'm noticing these things. If you've worked with them long enough, it's like we've been here before. These are the things that might be helpful. What do you think you know? and so giving them the ability to respond and decide for themselves, like, oh, actually, you know, i'm always telling people like go paint or go for a walk in the woods, go do something with your body to move emotions. And you know, one of my suggestions might not resonate with them, but they can use that as like a launching point to be like oh, but I can do this, you know.
Kaila O'Connor:I picked up watercolor painting eight months ago. This is such a two line and you have a two line, yeah, and our two line is in our conscious, and so I wonder if you resonate with this. But we'll just start something that we've never done before. I think did we talk about this in our previous conversation, i'm not sure. Okay, go with it though, okay. Okay, oftentimes, as a two line, we'll just pick up something and people will be like how did you know how to do that? And we'll be like I don't know.
Kaila O'Connor:I literally picked up a watercolor brush and just started doing it because I was going through a really, really hard instill him. But it's been incredibly healing for me with my mom And I realized that I could watercolor paint because I could ball onto the canvas and it would just contribute to the watercolor. And I kid you not, three months later I'm at an art show displaying my watercolor paints And I have no idea how I have this talent. But twos are just born with innate talents And it's a deconditioning of us to not feel like an imposter syndrome And we have to see ourselves as gifted and not validate and release the need to validate and release the need to find our gifts externally and just know that when we're in the flow of creation, that's when we're exuding our wisdom the most.
Kat Lee:Yeah, oh, i love that. I think I'd love to talk about conditions, not just for the two line. I definitely resonate with that in terms of like how did you do that? And I think I always equated that with my manifesting generator-ness of like I don't know how to sit still. Like I always have to be learning something new. I always have to be doing something new. Like the way that you feel about watercolors is how I feel about working with horses.
Kat Lee:Like I feel like there's like just an innate sense of being able to like communicate with that particular kind of animal in a way that I think is different from other people.
Kat Lee:I relate to horses in a very different way, but I think that that's kind of been the biggest permission slip that I've been able to give myself. Using the human design system is like you can All those things that you thought were a part of you, like you're allowed to do all those things You know I think that this is probably a common theme with MGs is Like we come off as flaky, we kind of have as people who never finish projects.
Kat Lee:We come off as People who are always changing their minds all the time, and I definitely had a lot of shame and guilt around that. I mean even to the point where it's like sometimes I'll commit to going out for coffee with a friend and then, like last minute, it just doesn't feel right in my body that day, or totally you know like, and instead of having Shame around it, like being able to own All those parts of you, yeah, and the fact that I've had so many different interests over my life has actually contributed to my Current work, you know yes, yes so many different patterns and And and things together in a way that feels really organized to myself But looks just like chaos to somebody else probably.
Kat Lee:Yeah so I think that it'd be really lovely to talk about the deconditioning process And what that can look like for people, because it sounds like you've done your own work around that as well.
Kaila O'Connor:I Love, love this topic and this question because it is so freeing, is so freeing to just know. And well, first off it is. Let me just say it is so freeing like it feels so freeing and to feel free is amazing. It is also scary and it never stops being scary And it's always a continuous thing. Feel like once I kind of like crack a code. It's like, okay, now Let's work on this. Now Let's work on this, right. But I think The biggest thing when I Introduce human design to someone, it's like Oftentimes what they're told is wrong or weird or bad about them is What is like their most magnetic thing, and so it's.
Kaila O'Connor:That can be the scariest thing. Like for me, i was always told I'm too impulsive or to give things a 24-hour rule. Being a splenic projector with the gate 51 is the gate of shock, as my son gate and my Prosperity gate, the gate of Jupiter, is the gate of extremes. I Had my coach, my old human design coach, tell me to observe animals and how they Instinctually move and that's how I'm supposed to operate in my business and when I make extreme impulsive decisions, i move at the speed of light in my business, like I give my wife a heart attack sometimes, you know, but it never like I. It really does not fail me because I'm. It's like jumping off a building and knowing that you're gonna be, you're going to have a soft landing.
Kaila O'Connor:You know the universe is gonna provide a soft landing and it's knowing that you're always trusted. But It's trusting your body, in your internal body signals and learning what those feel like versus.
Kaila O'Connor:Looking outside of yourself for the answer. That's where the not-self theme, that's the getting curious, that's the honoring the feelings and it's the trial and error. That's where the not-self theme is so helpful, because Don't be so hard on yourself if you don't catch. Like Your authority, speaking up like the spleen is so hard to hear. And before I did child regression healing and worked on my subconscious, like your subconscious rules Everything until you really clear that up. Yeah, so I couldn't even hear my body. Yeah, until I cleared that up.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah so I I will give an example of You know just recently where I really gave myself permission and it felt really good. I ended a Just like a service contract and they asked me for a testimonial. I love testimonials but I felt at the time I didn't have like the words that would do the partnership justice. I waited six weeks To give them a testimonial. Mm-hmm, and I knew Like. I kept the email in my inbox I was like there's something coming, There's something coming, There's something coming And it like hit me. just last week the perfect scenario happened That supported that service for the perfect testimonial and it's like six weeks later I just knew it.
Kaila O'Connor:I was waiting for something. So like don't second guess things that you're feeling in yourself, like Trust yourself trust is a big thing, like trust yourself, and if you develop trust within yourself, then then that you really can't go wrong. If you trust yourself, yeah, it really starts there.
Kat Lee:Yeah, and I don't think it's. I'm just gonna like circle back to a couple things that you said, because I think that they're applicable Honestly to anybody, not just folks who have a Selenic authority.
Kat Lee:Oh absolutely Yes of like being able to listen to your body, being able to Dissern is what I'm hearing in your story is like discern, what is an old story, perhaps from childhood Dissern, what is actually true to you. Dissern is this a should that society tells you like, even in that that email scenario You were talking about, like like it would stress me out to have a to-do thing that I quote, unquote should be doing.
Kaila O'Connor:Sitting in. You are recapping this beautifully, thank you.
Kat Lee:You know and so, like, the real core juicy nugget of of what you're sharing here is You can't go wrong when you're listening to your body, and so we have to do the work in order to make that messaging as clear as possible. And for you, that Selenic authority and like please add to this, because this is beginners like.
Kaila O'Connor:Understanding of.
Kat Lee:Selenic authority is like it's time to survival. A lot of times It's this like intuitive knowing of, like I'm stepping into a room and I know exactly who needs support. Like is how I've heard Selenic authority people describe their gift and so like that does require an almost like instantaneous Feedback loop from your body into action. You know.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah, and it's. It's very quiet and it speaks once and it won't speak again.
Kat Lee:Yeah, whereas, like I have a slightly different experience of Like I need to wait and respond, my impulse, because of the conditioning is to just do the thing right then and there and I have found that And I think that this is the manifesting generator. Or is it a sacoal authority thing, i don't know, but it's the like. I have to wait, maybe even give it a full evening, maybe a week or so, to like respond to the things.
Kaila O'Connor:So, okay, interesting, Let's unpack that. So let's rewind a little bit. So you respond to. So what are you responding to? You walk into a room and what are you responding to? you're responding to your sacoal desire to want to help someone, because you're conditioning as a five Once to help everyone, because you have the energy to help everyone. But the aligned thing to do is to tap into your sacoal and to get really clear on What of these ten people, if You know your five wants to help all ten of them, because they're gonna project on to you. Oh, you're the helper and you can help me and I need help, so I'm gonna project on you. So I'm gonna project all my problems on to this five, because the five hero just walked into the room and she has all the energy in the world, so come save me and you're gonna be like you're gonna respond to all ten people, being like All ten of these people need my help. So you're, you know the generators and the manifesting generators. They all respond. So that's a generator and an mg thing.
Kaila O'Connor:Mm-hmm but and your five is going to go off, but the, the aligned way of the five tapped into your sacoal is going to take the quality over the quantity and Really get clear of okay, you're gonna ask, you're gonna go one by one of all ten people and you're gonna ask your sacoal Yes, sir, no. Do I want to help this person? Yes, sir, no, do I want to help this person? Yes, sir, no, do I want to help this person? because it's a desire you need to. Desire to help this person.
Kat Lee:Yeah versus just helping everyone because you have the energy to yeah, that's actually like a pretty accurate way to Talk about like the, the the trajectory of my work is Before I was a coach, i was an acupuncturist, mmm, and I'm very good at that, you know it's. It's a skill that I'm really proud of having cultivated in my life, and towards the end of my career which I'd done that for 12 years I started to lose a desire to help people in this way, and I had this like ugh, this like gut wrenching guilty feeling of but I'm good at this, i should be doing this for people because I'm good at it, instead of asking myself, like, who are the exact kind of people I want to support? And you know, like it's taken years to release that story, but you know, it's been this interesting process, not necessarily of like I have to draw more and more and more and more people into my world. It's really about having the discernment of saying, yes, this person is for me. No, this person is not for me.
Kat Lee:And so I feel like that scenario that you just walked us through has been like my career is releasing people from my support in like, of course, with love, but also recognizing that the boundless energy that I seemingly have is an illusion. You know, none of us have like a never-ending well of energy And I think that as a saco authority, i tend to think that I have like that's like a resource that I should be able to just like tap into. But as I've gotten older, maybe my body is starting to slow down, but then also my capacity to have the patience to help everyone has started to like diminish, if that makes sense.
Kaila O'Connor:Totally, totally, yeah, yeah, no, that totally makes sense. And your strongest sense being a taste maker. it's like you have a very specific taste in how, like, refining, how you like things Like refinement, refinement, refinement, refinement. And I think if I was working with you and you were going to hire someone, it's like getting super, super. I have a client that both of them are taste makers And it is they are so, so, so particular with, like, who they work with And empowering you to be so, so picky and so particular with who you work with or who's on your team Like, and you're also a specific manifestor, like who's in your circle matters.
Kaila O'Connor:And you have some centers that are open that you know you absorb a lot of energy in some centers that you know the emotional center and the spleen, the solar plexus and the spleen and the root. You know if you're working with someone that is an emotional authority, that's totally okay, but they need to definitely communicate and take radical responsibility for their waves. And you know, if you do hire someone that is out of not out of whack, but like, has high anxiety and isn't taking radical responsibility for you know grounding their energy, you know you're going to be absorbing that at twice the you know. So like these things are important to know And so empowering you of like you aren't too picky when you feel like canceling plans, cancel your plans. It's like all of these things are just who you are.
Kat Lee:Yeah, Yeah, It's interesting because I pulled up my my business partners chart just now. He and I are pretty similar. He's also a 5-2 manifesting generator, but he's got the emotional authority Okay, And you know, like that, that sense of like you've got to take responsibility for your own feelings, has been like a big theme in our relationship actually, And so it's really helpful to know I think I moving forward, because I'm just a nerd about this. Now I'm probably going to pull the charts of everyone that I work with, just so I can get a sense of like hey, like where do I maybe need to show up in a more grounded way so that I can support this relationship? you?
Kaila O'Connor:know Totally. I've worked alongside an emotional authority for almost 2 years now and gotten to a point where, almost for the past year, we've had her emotional wave in our calendar, in our shared calendar. So I know the 4-5 and each emotional wave is different, but I know every month, these 4-5 days, her emotions are heightened And she just shows up at 80% what she normally is and you know, maybe, and it just has that layer of awareness for me.
Kaila O'Connor:So, maybe I just don't communicate with her via phone or video call, so I'm not absorbing her emotions that are heightened.
Kat Lee:Yeah.
Kaila O'Connor:And so it's. you know, emotional authorities are beautiful. They're what put emotions. Emotions are color. Yeah, they are what put emotions on our planet. You know, they are why we have like, if you really think about it, they are why we kind of have emotions and color in the world. But it can feel really kind of like overwhelming. if we hop on a video call with a team member, that's emotional authority. And if they just don't have awareness over their chart and they're going through an emotional wave and then they're seemingly happy because they're, they can pretend very well, but we're absorbing their emotional wave at 2X what they're feeling and we're like, what is going on on this call? Why am I all of a sudden super anxious, like, why am I? then we take it on as ourselves and then we start getting an R head. It just eliminates all of that.
Kat Lee:Yeah, and I'd say that too, like, not that like I need Andre to like control his emotions. But you know he and I were partners before we started working together. He's now my best friend. We're no longer romantic partners, but we kind of used to joke that he went through like a werewolf time, like every month, and we called it werewolf time. That's so funny, yeah, and like we just sort of named it because he'd wake up.
Kat Lee:He has no idea why he's sad that day, or anxious that day And there's like we'd go through the list of things that it could possible be and it was just like never, like a logical thing, you know what's his is his wave, the 1945. I don't know where I'd be looking for that.
Kaila O'Connor:What is this colored in channel He?
Kat Lee:has multiple colored in channels. He's got like 11 and 56 colored in. He's got 57 and 20 colored in 28 to 38.
Kaila O'Connor:Oh, from the root to the solar plexus. sorry, Oh, root to solar plexus.
Kat Lee:Root to solar plexus 41 to 30. 41 to 30. Yeah, he's got 19 colored in, but not 49. Okay.
Kaila O'Connor:Okay, that might be. I have to refresh myself on that one. I'm very familiar with the 19 to 49, but that's so funny, Wolf time, I love that, Andre.
Kat Lee:maybe you cut that part out where we're trying to figure out your type. Yeah, sorry. Andre can cut out any of this, i don't care Hi.
Kaila O'Connor:Andre Um, but I.
Kat Lee:what I've loved about our relationship though, is like he now has, and it's not necessarily I don't think it's through human design He doesn't really like get into the human design thing but it's more that he's become aware of his emotions and he's able to communicate with the other people, and so I think that's a really good thing He's become aware of his emotions and he's able to communicate them, so that, like, what he actually needs in those times is for me to like just give him some space, And so like, like he's, he can go through that emotional wave on his own and he doesn't need my like nagging support sometimes And so, and so I think even just having the awareness like, hey, i'm having a feeling this is what I need right now, and being able to communicate that to the people around you, whether it's in a romantic relationship or in a business work relationship, i think is so, so beneficial.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he with decisions. He is the 24 hour girl with big decisions.
Kat Lee:Yeah, sometimes even longer, i would say Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's funny, yeah, i mean, i think it's just so fascinating when we start pulling up the charts of people we spend a lot of time with and, like you know, sometimes I spend more time with Andre than I do with my husband just because of the nature of our work And and so being able to like pull up these pieces and be like oh, what need is not being met? What need can I support even more? You know what? what is going to help this person feel more in alignment? And how can I communicate in such a way that I feel almost aligned and my needs are getting met too? Oh, yeah.
Kat Lee:And I think that that the human design system is really, really helpful in being able to do that. Yeah.
Kaila O'Connor:My wife is also a splenic projector and she only has two centers defined a spleen and a root. And I have I'm very defined poor thing Like I'm all the way like crown, ajna, throat, g center, spleen and root, but I'm a triple split. So I think that's probably the hardest with me is just needing to be around other people for that consistent energy flow versus the disconnect of energy.
Kat Lee:And just for people who are not super familiar with human design like my understanding is that when you have defined centers meaning like if you pull up your chart and it's colored in, versus having an undefined center- in words open, like the undefined center is going to absorb the energies of those defined centers in a more sort of like amplifying way is how I understand it.
Kaila O'Connor:Yep. So think of your when you're pulling up your chart and you see centers that are colored in. Think of those as, like your strengths, you have consistent energy and consistent access to those centers. And then centers that are open or white. That's there's like always, like a high and a low vibe way low expression way of looking at these, of course, but it's always good to be aware of the open centers. You're more likely to have conditioning there, but also you're able to have a lot of wisdom. So you're, because you absorb so much, you're able to gain wisdom on how other people feel.
Kaila O'Connor:So, with your coaching, having an open solar plexus and an open spleen, you really understand how your clients feel. And like help them with the spleen is interesting. Yes, it houses like fears and safety, but, as humanity has evolved, we're not so much in like a life or death safety standpoint. It's really evolved in like this forward intuition, like intuitive forward thinking center. Right, it's the oldest center in the body, but it's not so much a like save my life as much. Of course it holds our fears but it is really powerful in the intuition standpoint. So I think that is really really powerful for you to have that open And then the crown, like you're able to really tap into, like higher thinking, higher vision, like of course you have like this process that you go through a meditation with your clients and like that's so in alignment for you from like an open center standpoint. So that's you know it's.
Kaila O'Connor:Looking at your chart in any team members like put them on top of each other and see, do you kind of fill a full chart collectively together?
Kaila O'Connor:or you know how does that look and how does the energy kind of match up? One thing I do call out a lot that's really powerful is the sacral in business. I kind of rule a thumb, say regardless, to try as much as possible, if not at all, to avoid saying yes to contracts or new business agreements, live or on the phone or in person, because you just don't know if you're a non-sacral or the other person's a sacral or vice versa. Or if you are a sacral and you feel comfortable, that's up to your discretion. But if you are a non-sacral, i would say to kind of put that into practice because you don't want to innocently just absorb someone's sacral desire to work with you at twice the frequency and then to you know, be cut off from their energy and be like I actually really did not want to work with that person. I had to learn that the hard way And I was saying yes to some brands that I was like why did I do that?
Kat Lee:It's so interesting because I feel like in the coaching industry there's this I don't even know what to call it, but there's this idea of like. Like if you get someone on a sales call, try to close that sale at the end of the call, no matter what Like. I've heard that from so many business coaches and that's never felt right to me. You know A it feels like unnecessary pressure into a system that is not really gonna benefit from pressure.
Kaila O'Connor:You have an open route. You don't like pressure. Yeah, yeah, You feel.
Kat Lee:If someone feels pressure, you absorb that pressure at two X and you're like, oh my gosh, this feels so uncomfortable, yeah, yeah, and so I just I couldn't do that in a way that felt an alignment for me, you know, even though that's like kind of the advice that is unquestionably given And yeah, like it makes logical sense. Of course you want to close every sale, but to me it doesn't make sense on like an intuitive, moralistic space, because people are complicated, lies are complicated. You don't know what's happening in that person's life that may lead to a no, sometimes I've sat with the conversation overnight and then emailed them back in the morning and been like you know what, i sat with it and I actually think it would benefit so much more from my friend's program rather than mine. And so giving people the like to really truly be in service, i feel like the right person has to land with the right product at the right time And so, like if your product is not the right product for that person, it's doing them a disservice to just push them into closing out that sale, just because that will make your numbers better, because it's gonna pay your employees, because all of the reasons right.
Kat Lee:And I've found that actually I've been ending my calls with a choice for my clients, my potential clients, and being like, hey, like, let's both sit with this conversation. I'll be really honest about whether it felt like a yes or a no for me, and if it felt like a yes on my side, then I'll be like do you want me to follow up or do you wanna be the one who follows up in a couple of days? and then giving them that choice? Because I think that we're already living in such high pressure systems, especially in the coaching industry, and it's like we don't need to be re-traumatizing people through a sales call.
Kaila O'Connor:That felt like such, that felt like a hug to me And it really did. And yeah, the energy of that felt like a hug, i completely agree And I had. Yeah, it's unfortunate because a past coach of mine, a long, long, long ago I caught up with her and I was so excited to just have a conversation And then it ended up being like a very turn of events tried to be like a sales like well I have an opening and it was.
Kaila O'Connor:It threw me off completely And it just it's hard to shake off that energy of the coaching, of the coaching space And it's a I love it. I've had like three coaches at a time before. It's served me and it continues to serve me And it's so needed. It's so, so needed, it's so needed. But I just have to say that how you just put that felt like a hug and I love it.
Kat Lee:I mean, it's kind of how you and I connected too right. It's like I I feel the need to like have a just personal conversation with anybody that I'm either going to be working with, having on my podcast or collaborating with. I can't, i can't get that sense just over email, and so I used to just say yes to people over email based on what they've written me, because I was like, oh, this is the more efficient way to do it. But I've had a couple of interviews where I was like I can't release this, like this is a not going to serve my audience or b I don't want to be promoting this person to my audience because, like, i find that the trust that I have with my community is like the that's like the most important thing to me is like being able to have my community trust me.
Kat Lee:And so if they trust me and I have this person on my podcast and you know they sign up for their program and it turns out to be not in alignment for them, like I would not be able to, i just I wouldn't be okay with that.
Kat Lee:you know Yeah totally, and so I've gotten into the habit of, when people reach out for a podcast interview, i'm like, hey, come on a 30 minute call and like let's just see and get a sense for each other's energy And that's kind of how you and I were able to say yes to each other is because I can get a sense of the person within the first five minutes, and then it's like oh, okay, so I like this person's energy. Do we have enough to like, talk about, like in terms?
Kat Lee:of like content, and if the answer is yes, at that point then it's like fuck, like yeah, i'm so happy to have you on the podcast, you know.
Kaila O'Connor:So you're effortlessly so, a big you know. Part of human design is in kind, of going into my business is like how you feel when you're doing your job matters. And feeling, in my opinion, how we feel, is like the 50% missing from corporate strategies, because how a person individually feels when they're actually doing their job, a feeling is a frequency that's getting a little little or you know totally, but a feeling is a frequency. And if your employee is pissed off while he's sending an email to a client, that frequency is low, as you know. Hell, whatever. Sorry, you can't swear on this podcast, but it's not going to attract results and that can affect the bottom line of a company If you you know it's. That is going to become more and more important. And so you're just naturally doing that, just naturally, organically doing that. We're getting on a call, you're able to tap into your body as relates to this person to see how do I feel, first and foremost, and then you're checking in logically of like, okay, is the information there to serve my customers?
Kat Lee:Yeah, yeah, yeah, beautiful, and I think that this is just a theory and you can. You can push back on it. For me, i love it when people poke holes in my stuff, but, like, my theory is that, like, as we're entering into a space and a time period where we're able to talk more freely about traumas and toxicity in our culture and actively working to untangle those pieces, you know the marketing that used to work 20 years ago, that pounded on pain points, that, just like you know, pushed on these old traumatized narratives like trauma attracts trauma And so, as the audience, as the customer base the client base, however you want to call it is learning how to integrate their own traumas, that kind of marketing is no longer going to be, effective And that's kind of, I think what you're trying to touch on there of totally like an employee sends out an angry email, it's not going to resonate Like people are going to energetically pick up on that where we weren't quite able to maybe 2030, 40 years ago.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah, and the we're just more sensitive, like the just from like a collective, like energy standpoint, the we're just feeling things and absorbing things more, like we're surrounded by energy, everything is around us right, and we're just like feeling things more, like things are hitting us more And we're and and we're just entering like a time where things are like and I think that is evolving with us and one and I think the fear based marketing is is, like you said, not working And it's also being shown with our younger generations of like they're not going to stand for it either. You know, they're really leading a new narrative and they really are the future. It's a really unique time too. It's the only time ever where there's been five generations in the workforce Interesting, which is really fascinating, because our parents there was no social media, there was no internet when they were growing up.
Kaila O'Connor:And so there's a huge gap even between us and our parents, but there's even a generation above them that are still working, and there's there's just so, there's just so many different generations trying to work together right now in the workforce, trying to understand what words are appropriate these days, what aren't, how is society changing? what you know, what is triggering these days? and there's a lot of education and nuances, and I think, at the end of the day, loving compassion is what we all need to lead with.
Kat Lee:That's beautiful, yeah, and I hadn't thought about it in that context of like.
Kat Lee:Like we live in completely different eras. You know we have lived in very, completely different eras, you know, and like, i'm a little bit older than you And so I didn't grow up with social media either, and you know, i didn't get that until I was in my 20s, and so I think that there's. And then, like, even myself talking to my friend who I was just visiting in Nevada her partner is my lawyer but also a good friend of mine And like he runs, he's 75 and he's retired now but he's done a little bit of contract work for me and he runs his business so different like we have to communicate in such a way that like is so different to me, like he will not text, like I don't know anybody who doesn't text. And he was like you, like how do you not have voicemail set up on your phone? Like, and you run a business and I'm like I've never you're literally the only person I've needed to set up voicemail for you know, i know.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah.
Kat Lee:So it's just such a fascinating way to look at like the world has changed so much in just a few years, and even just not just what we communicate is different, but how we communicate is incredibly different too. Yeah.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah.
Kat Lee:Yeah.
Kaila O'Connor:Yeah, absolutely So. It's. My mother-in-law is one of the top real estate agents in Chicago and she's 69 and she's kind of she's definitely self made and an entrepreneur in her way And it's she's an outspoken Assyrian woman, the first to go to college Like she's just a badass And it's. It's really interesting because she's outspoken in in like kind of the the frustrations of keeping up with it all And I appreciate it because it helps me see. Okay, so let me help you know, educate and let's have this conversation, this healthy conversation. I love just having conversations with people that are open to it, because conversations, whether you're on opposite ends of the spectrum, just being able to have the conversation is is what is what will help us move forward. Yeah, absolutely. We've covered every single topic in this conversation. I feel like we have.
Kat Lee:Is there anything else that you feel like you need to like land in with that that you're like? I don't want to get off this call without saying this.
Kaila O'Connor:Oh gosh, i feel so good about what we discussed. I think, when it comes to human design, just there's no limitations. There's a lot of, you know, literature or stuff out there that might feel limiting, but there are no limitations. You know, a projector can work nine hours a day if you're feeling good, so just don't feel like it's limiting at all. I think that's just a really important thing to note.
Kat Lee:Yeah, and I think, just to highlight what you had said earlier of like really feeling into your body, like I feel like that's like the most important piece, for any doesn't matter what your chart says is like your body doesn't lie. Your body has a deeper wisdom and a deeper understanding of what's maybe happening, and so like that feels like a really important thing to like finish this conversation out with which you shared earlier. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. How can people find you, my dear?
Kaila O'Connor:Yes, i think my landing page is the best way to go. It's KaylaOconorcom. It links out to everything, so that's the most targeted. And then my personal Instagram again links out to everything. It's Kayla underscore underscore Oconor Perfect.
Kat Lee:Well, thank you so much for hopping on and having this conversation with me and appreciate you and the work that you're doing out there. Thank you, congratulations.